Ever invested months, multiple coffee dates and endless WhatsApps into a relationship only to realise that the person is toxic to be around?
Yep, us too.
Sometimes people just aren’t in the right place to be a good friend, or there’s a personality clash that mean you bring out the worst in each other and other times someone just doesn’t want the best for you, it’s horrible but true. In these cases it’s best to spot the toxic root early on and keep the relationship at a strictly surface level.
Here are 7 signs, according to Reddit users that a person is toxic:
- You’re left feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them.
- They try to intimidate you to get their way
- They try to control you by guilt tripping
- They are easily jealous
‘The manipulator is so jealous that they try to control the target in an unhealthy way. This one is tricky because not all boundaries are valid.
Toxic people use ‘boundaries’ as a means of control, and then play the victim role when their ‘boundaries’ are crossed or not respected”-User Superfuntime.
- They constantly see themselves as a victim
‘I have a friend who wonders why everyone leaves them and feels like they’re victimised constantly. Of course, one day I have enough of their bulls**t, call them on it, and all of a sudden, I’m ‘victimising’ them too.’ -SinOsc_440
- They give backhanded compliments
‘Even when giving a compliment, it has to have a little negative on it.’ -gsweathers
- They overshare
‘Disclosing extremely personal or intimate information about themselves or others straight away. Chances are they want your approval so badly they will bear any secret.
The minute that they sense disapproval, however slight or imagined, they will turn on you and any information they have on you will be used in similar attempts to curry favour with future victims.’ -elhawiyeh
The sneakiest sign? Number 7! Oversharing can so often seem like a dose of healthy vulnerability or a desire to connect but in fact it can be a sign of deeper insecurity and a red flag that maybe that person isn’t the one to count on for all your emotional needs.
Most importantly though, trust your gut. Think about how someone makes you feel about yourself, are you on a high after seeing them?
Or do they knock your confidence? Connect with the people who love you for who you are and leave you feeling like a queen after every coffee date.